The heart – not just a blood-pumping organ January 31, 2006

XM: Van Morrison – “Moondance”
Mood: Calm

I haven’t posted in awhile. I’ve been busy reading. I finished reading “Waking the Dead.” This is an amazing book and I have a hard time describing to others what it is about. So you really just need to read it for yourself. But be warned: it is heavy and radical and requires much.

This book comes as part of a process God is working in me. He started the process last fall at Chrysalis when he showed me (in no subtle ways) my fear of my own emotions. Because of this fear I had learned to have great “control” of my emotions, but the result was a rather numb existence. If you don’t feel pain you also don’t feel joy. You can’t have one or the other. I don’t know why this is, but I believe it’s true. When God showed me this fear of mine I said to him, “I don’t know what you want me to do this new information, but I well let you lead me. My heart is open.” To even say this to him was surprisingly terrifying and took an enormous amount of trust. But there I left it, at his feet, and waited.

Now a few months later I am brought to the book, “Waking the Dead.” In this book, John Eldredge talks about the importance our hearts. The heart is the center of our life. It’s where God lives. And out of my attempt at self-protection, I have boarded up my heart. I have not been living the abundant life that Christ died for me to live.

Eldredge also talks a great deal about the spiritual battle among us. I have always known about this spiritual battle, but I have never asked the question, what are we fighting for? It’s not land or money. It is for our hearts.

So this book has been an eye-opener (and heart-opener), but what really sealed the deal was what happened to me at church Sunday. The first song we sang was the Victory Chant. A song I grew up singing, but this time the words had so much more weight.

Hail Jesus You’re my King
Your life frees me to sing
I will praise You all my days
You’re perfect in all Your ways

Hail Jesus You’re my Lord
I will obey Your Word
I want to see Your kingdom come
Not my will but Yours be done

Glory glory to the Lamb
You take me into the land
We will conquer in Your name
And proclaim that Jesus reigns

The second song we sang was “Lord Reign in Me.” This turned out to be a sort of invitation from me to God, for him to rule over my heart again (it has been so long).

Lord reign in me
Reign in Your power
Over all my dreams
In my darkest hour
You are the Lord
Of all I am

But that’s not the really exciting part. At the end of the service, Tina, our worship leader gave us some questions to sit and ponder for a minute or two. The first question was this:

“Lord, what do you treasure?”
I asked him this question and he immediately answered (that voice in my head, he spoke so clearly):

“I treasure your heart… and I am fighting for it.”
Shivers. He must have said it to me 3 or 4 times, just to make sure I heard it I’m sure. So basically, on a very deep level, and speaking to one of my greatest fears, God is telling me he cares. He is taking all these truths and planting them deep in my heart, and I am being transformed yet again. Sarah, he is always doing new things, isn’t he?

And just to prove that this transformation is real: I watched The Notebook last night without even the urge to snicker and I even cried a little bit. Kari, I thought of you the entire time, because I know you love that movie. I was moved by how romantic the ending was. I was moved! Can you believe it?

A Message From Your Library January 27, 2006

XM: Peter Gabriel – “In Your Eyes”
Mood: Ready for the weekend

This item is now waiting for you to pick up at the library
listed in the return address.

AUTHOR: Miller, Donald,
Blue like jazz : nonreligious thoug
CALL NO: 277.3082 Miller
BARCODE: 33000019432302
PICKUP AT: Lansing – M BY: 02-04-06

I can’t believe it. It wasn’t supposed to arrive until Feb. 23rd, I put the hold request in yesterday and it’s here already. Yay!

FPU, pot pies, tastebuds, and more! January 27, 2006

XM: Judy Garland – “Meet Me In St. Louis”
Mood: Enchanted

Judy Garland, I am under your spell…

Our first FPU class went great! I sensed that everyone there was excited and nervous just like me After the entire group watched the DVD, we split them up into two smaller groups. Mike and I took one group and our volunteer leader took the other. It was fun getting to know everyone a little better. We have a great group. They all seemed very open – not afraid to be honest and not afraid to have a good laugh about their mistakes. It didn’t take long for everyone to realize that their struggles were not uncommon; many others in the group have made the same mistakes.

I’m so glad that Mike is doing this with me, because he is great with people and he helps them to feel comfortable. We’ve never done anything like this – heading up a project as a team – so it’s surprising to see how well we work together. I guess it helps that we’ve been tied to one another for six+ years, and even before that we worked together at the same job (that’s how we met!).

For Melissa: Thank you for reminding me to update about Mike’s health. I had completely forgotten! Mike had another MRI in December to make sure there were no changes to the mass in his head. The neurologist confirmed that there were no changes and everything looked normal. So we are in the clear for now. They told us to come back in one year for another MRI. In the meantime, we are to watch for funny stuff and let them know if there are any unusual changes to his motor skills. We still have a full tank of oxygen at the house but Mike hasn’t had a cluster headache in months, so there it sits.

I decided to get back to packing a lunch for work. Yesterday was the first day. I only packed side items because I knew I had left a chicken pot pie in the fridge at work about a week ago. When I got to work I found that my chicken pot pie had turned into a dollar bill. As it turns out, my boss stole my chicken pot pie. Well, not really stole, because he did put the dollar bill in its place. I confronted him about it, and told him that I didn’t mind that he ate my chicken pot pie, but that it would have been nice if he had told me. Because then I would have packed a sandwich. For goodness sake, I can’t eat a dollar.

And speaking of things tasting funny… For the past few days eating and drinking has been rather frustrating for me. Everything is overshadowed by an annoying metallic taste. I think my tastebuds are broken.

Since the Derek Webb concert doesn’t seem to actually be a Derek Webb concert (see comments under the Derek Webb post), I have decided to go to the Brian Regan show instead. What’s even better is Mike is going with me! He’s not often up for my kind of shows or concerts and he is not a huge fan of crowds, so I’m thrilled that he wants to go. Everything goes better with Mike.

Brian Regan – “You Too” Tour! January 26, 2006

XM: Frank Sinatra – “Almost Like Being In Love”
Mood: Perplexed

So I was commenting on Kari’s blog to give Dan the link to Brian Regan’s website, and in the process of checking his website discovered that he is coming to Kalamazoo’s State Theatre on February 9th! It’s a Thursday, and I would have to work the next day, but it would definitely be worth the lack of sleep. $33.50 – ouch. Oh, but he is so so funny.

Hmmm… I have a tough decision on my hands. Words of wisdom anyone?

Retirement Benefits January 26, 2006

XM: Paul Whiteman – “I Get A Kick Out Of You”
Mood: Energized

**Satire Warning**
More Companies Phasing Out Retirement Options

Our trip to Dearborn January 25, 2006

Rhapsody: Derek Webb – Mockingbird
Mood: Feelin’ good

Okay folks. Our trip was not very exciting but here’s the rundown for you:

Friday:
Went to the North American International Auto Show at Cobo Hall. Looked at all the cars. My favorites were the restored Camaro, the Dodge Challenger, and of course the Mini Cooper (in the color I want, no less).

After the auto show we settled into our room at the Town Place Suites in Dearborn. What a nice hotel: affordable, clean, quiet, and stellar service. Mike took a wicked nap and I read a book (I may have dozed off just a little). Around 6 or so we ventured out to the theater. Walk the Line just happened to be the only decent one playing around that time, so we saw that. I loved this movie. The soundtrack was great and I often found myself tapping my feet or humming along. I am not a huge fan of modern country music, but I love the old stuff. Bluegrass, twangy stuff. Good stuff. Mike thought I tricked him into watching it but I swear I didn’t know it was playing. And besides, I walked around the auto show with him with a smile, so I figure he owed me Anyway, what a great movie. I cried. Yup, I really did. Partly because it was a great movie and partly because of that whole coming out of numbness thing God is doing.

After the movie we went to PizzaPapalis, a great pizza joint that was recommended to me by one of our vendor reps at work. AWESOME deep dish pizza. Surprisingly greaseless for a deep dish. The crust was flaky and had just a hint of sweetness. We ordered one large enough so that we could have leftovers for breakfast. We had just enough for both Saturday and Sunday breakfast. Yum. You know Mike loves cold pizza in the morning.

Saturday:
This was our big day to go to the Henry Ford Museum. We discovered that we both love museums but we move at different paces (What can I say? I like to mosey.) But we were able to find a compromise and had a lot of fun. As we were walking through and looking at all these really old things that people used at one time, we considered the fact that some day the things our generation uses would be in a museum and people would pay money just to look at them. Weird thought. So then we made it to the “Your Place in Time” exhibit and found that this was already happening. In fact, we had basically paid money to look at our old stuff. Nintendo’s, Trapper Keepers, Air Jordans, the Speak and Spell. Ahh, memories. This was after we took a lunch break and we regretted leaving the camera in the car. So we don’t have pictures but you can get an idea here. Overall Mike’s favorite exhibit was the Kennedy car (shown in the slideshow below) and mine was the Dymaxion House. If you ever get a chance to visit that museum, take it. There are some remarkable exhibits.

After the museum we came back to the hotel for more napping (really, what is a vacation without napping?). We went to Red Robin for dinner. I know, not very original, but I had never been there and Mike really wanted me to try their burgers. I have had my reservations about this restaurant chain ever since the shoot-out in Lansing, but I agreed to go anyway. I was pleasantly surprised. My burger came with mushrooms, swiss, and guacamole. It was scrumptious. And the steak fries were great too. Mike’s burger had blue cheese. He said it was good and I trust that he really believes that. Although, I don’t really hate blue cheese. I just don’t like the dressing. Something about the texture, I guess. After dinner we watched movies in the hotel. Mostly Julia Roberts’ movies because TBS was running some sort of marathon. We didn’t really care because we were busy playing Spite and Malice. Mike beat me 2 out of 3 games. He’s ruthless, I tell ya!

Sunday:
Packed up our stuff and headed home. All weekend we had been contemplating driving back into the city to eat at Lafayette Coney Island but never mustered the motivation. We should have gone after the auto show while we were in town. At any rate, we were hungry on the drive home so we headed into Ann Arbor to search for a place that served breakfast. We stumbled upon the Village Kitchen. Terrible service but the food was great. Cinnamon raisin french toast with bananas and whipped cream for me and an omelette for Mike. Then rather than taking the highway home we decided to follow our rear-view-mirror-compass and find our way home through the back roads. We just kept heading NW and made it home eventually. That made for a nice Sunday drive and it got us dreaming again about moving to a small town after we get this house paid off!

I compiled our pictures of the auto show and museum into slideshows for your viewing pleasure. My PhotoShows

So that’s it, that’s our trip! Thanks for letting me share it with you!

Derek Webb concert anyone? January 25, 2006

XM: Depeche Mode – “World In My Eyes”
Mood: Tired

Derek Webb (formerly of Caedmon’s Call) is in concert at Calvin College on February 10th. I saw him in concert at Visions in Lansing and he was amazing. Tickets are only $10 and according to the box office, they have plenty available.

Click here for more info.

So, who’s goin’ with me?

Not just any Tuesday January 24, 2006

XM: Rave-Ups – “Positively Lost”
Mood: Nervited

I remember this song from the Pretty In Pink soundtrack. Great song, great movie. That movie is one of my favorites, by the way.

Thanks to everyone who came out to say hi on the last post. I know there are still some straggling lurkers, and I hope they decide to hop on the bandwagon. No pressure

I’m sure you are all anxiously awaiting my report of my weekend away with Mike, right? We had a great time and I promise I will dedicate one whole long post to tell you the entire exciting story with pictures and everything (really it’s not that exciting, but you love pictures, don’t you?). I just don’t have the time quite yet. Patience now.

Tonight is the first FPU class and I am excited and nervous all at the same time. What’s the word for excited and nervous? Is it anxious? eager? Where’s my thesaurus at? All in all we have over 40 families enrolled. Twenty-three of them are in the Tuesday session that we are leading. We had to scramble to find another volunteer to lead discussion so that we can split into smaller groups. A good problem to have, I’ll say. It all starts in less than 4 hours! I can’t wait!!

Who’s lurking?? January 20, 2006

XM: Michael W. Smith – “Give It Away”
Mood: Grrreat!

Just for the record, I love this song. An oldy but goody. Smitty is way talented.

If you haven’t noticed, I added a counter to my sidebar down beneath everything else. (I saw one on Sarah’s and just had to have one.) So now I’m able to check stats and see how many people are visiting my blog. The stat that interests me is the new visitor stat, because that really tells me how many people are reading. I have to say I’m a bit surprised at the number. Do I even know 34 people? The number of people who comment doesn’t even come close. So I’m really curious who else is reading my blog.

Who else is out there lurking? Let’s make a listing, shall we? Please comment to this post. Give us your name and tell us something that is a favorite of yours (song, movie, tv show, color, etc.).

You can comment even if you are not a member of blogger. Just click on the Comments link, then scroll to the bottom and click Post a Comment. Type your comment in the text box, then under Choose an identity select the Other radio button. Type in your name and click Publish Your Comment! Easy as pie.

Now, when I get back from Vacation I hope to see lots and lots of comments!!

In no particular order January 19, 2006

XM Track: Caedmon’s Call – “There You Go”
Mood: Antsy

It feels like it should be Friday. It’s not. Only I wish it was. If it were, Mike and I would be on our way to Vacation. I finally settled on the destination – Dearborn. We’ll relax in an affordable suite in town; a room with a sitting area and a full kitchenette. We’ll head to the Henry Ford Museum on Saturday. We have made no other plans but to eat, sleep, and be merry. I’m not sure why we are so excited about this trip. We are alone together at home all the time. I think it’s different because we have intentionally carved out this time for each other. No chance of getting sidetracked by the rest of life. And we so enjoy each other’s company. We have barely anything in common as far as personal interests go, but we can talk for hours. And we make each other laugh constantly. He is my Delight.

At Chey’s recommendation, I started reading “Waking The Dead” by John Eldredge. Perfect timing in my life for this book. Some of the stuff in there gives me shivers. In the first chapter, Eldredge describes an experience much like what was happening to me on Monday. Fog lifting, eyes opened, the awareness of spiritual warfare. Fun stuff.

5 more days to FPU!

Oh, and if you’re wondering what happened to the Bed & Breakfast idea; it’s not tossed completely, just postponed. Kari sent me a link to one that’s close to us – Williamston – and it looks amazing. And it happens to be the same one Sarah was telling me about that she loved so much. It’s exactly what I want but the price is too steep for now. If we were only planning to be gone for one night we could swing it, but since we’re not… I would like to wait and go there for our anniversary in April. Also, I did some more mulling about running a B&B and realized that what I really want is not to run one, but to live in one. So when I’m rich and retired at age 38, I’ll buy a big historic house and fix it up just like a B&B and all my friends and family can come and stay for free!

We watched Beauty and the Geek 2 last night. I think that show is genius. Pair up a bunch of geeks with a bunch of beautiful women and send them off to teach each other what they know. Geeks learn social skills and beauties learn math and stuff. One of the men on the show can solve a Rubik’s cube behind his back. No kidding! And there is a woman on the show who thinks Rock beats Paper. Really. It’s a riot.

This “How To” was listed on Google Home today and I can’t wait to get home and try it.