Koo-koo-ka-choo September 28, 2006

XM: Simon & Garfunkel – “Mrs. Robinson”

This song always reminds me of when I was in high school. It was on a mixed tape I used to listen to on road trips or when driving around town. It especially reminds me of the times I would take my little brother with me to run errands. He loved this song. He would sit in his carseat and bob his head to the rhythm. When the lyric “koo-koo-ka-choo, Mrs. Robinson” came up he would sing along with it full force and then erupt into the most infectious laughter. He was only 3 or 4 years old at the time so I’m sure he wouldn’t remember that now, but I sure do.

Singing in the car is a great activity for all ages and it doesn’t cost a thing (only perhaps a bit of dignity but who really cares about that anyway). I highly recommend it!

What music puts you in a good mood? September 27, 2006

I’ve been stuck on XM channels 45 and 75 lately and though they play great music, I’m realizing that many of the songs are outright downers. I need some cheering-up music, music that will energize me and keep me plugging through the day’s work! So I logged on to Rhapsody today to listen to some G. Love and Special Sauce. Good stuff. I can’t help but smile and bounce around when I listen to it. Other bands that have a similar effect on me are Arrested Development, The Fugees, The Beatles (Sgt. Pepper’s album in particular), Black Eyed Peas (the old stuff), and The Clash. There are so many others but they get stuffed in the closets of my memory and you know how closets can get. You can never find what you’re looking for but in the process of looking you always find something you were looking for a long time ago.

What I want to know is: What kind of music puts you in a good mood? What bands, artists, songs or albums trigger your happy meter? I expect some of you lurkers to chime in on this too. Oh and speaking of lurkers, we have a new one as of two weeks ago… my dear hubby. Hi Mike

Another reason I hate shopping malls September 27, 2006

 From My Total Money Makeover’s Gazelle Gazette:

Shopping malls are some of the glitziest, loudest and trendiest places to shop for clothing, accessories, games and furniture. But selling is exactly what the mall markets are designed to do, and store owners have it down to a science.

Everything that goes into the look, the feel, even the smell of the store is engineered to get you to spend more money. It’s almost scary to think about how much detail is put into it, but stores are made to sell. And few other places do it as well as the mall.

Mall stores are designed with the lights, loud music, mirrors and big signs to get your juices flowing. At that point, they say, spending money is an EXPERIENCE! You’re not just buying a sweater … you’re buying a sweater in a mall with the latest tunes blaring!

Don’t fall for this! This is what is great about being on a budget. If you are disciplined and determined to stay within your written money plan, then you’ll not overspend, and even stay out of the mall in the first place!

What are some of the ways that stores are designed to bring you in?

• Stores can have open floor plans to give you a good view of everything they have to offer
• Companies study demographics and play music familiar to the area to get you in a good mood, make you happy and get you to spend more
• Employees may stand 10 feet from the entrance of a perfume store so they are ready to spray you with the latest scents when you enter
• Some companies go so far as to develop “signature scents”, aromas that are specific to their store. If they make it pleasant and you like it, you’ll want to come into the store and shop more often
• It’s all about the entrance. Some stores put their hottest and glitziest items in the front to draw you in and give you great expectations about what else the store is selling. Other places have a nice-looking storefront but no merchandise. It’s designed to make you come in looking for what they have to offer
• Let’s not forget about all those displays. Many stores and chains have mini-displays, everything from sweaters to kitchens, to get you to stop and look as you make your way through the store. THIS IS NOT A GAME!

Don’t think that you’re automatically getting a good buy if you pick an item from the stand that has a “Big Super Blowout Sale” sign over it. The stores are designed to get you to look around and spend more. Stick to your budget and your wits and don’t buy more than you can afford. Even better, stay away from malls altogether (the stuff is overpriced anyway). You can get much better deals on quality, and even trendy clothes, at consignment shops and other places.

Source: USA Today

Highly recommend this yogurt September 26, 2006

Not only is this Vanilla Yoplait® Thick & Creamy Custard Style® Yogurt delicious, but it kicks nausea in the arse.

Yes, I came out of blogging hibernation just to rave about yogurt. Sue me.

Sweater Weather September 21, 2006

I love it when the air gets chilly and smells all fresh. I guess if I really think hard about it I’ll realize it’s just the smell of plants and trees dying, but I prefer not to. I’m just enjoying not sweating for once. Though I will never be satisfied with the temperature in the mornings. I love curling up with a good blanket and that’s hard to do in the heat of the summer. Fall and winter are best for good blanket curling, but the problem with that is it’s awfully hard to drag yourself out of bed to do important things like earning a living.

Fall and winter are also great seasons for crocheting, reading, and napping – three things I’ll be doing a lot of this year. I’m all set for napping because all you need is a pillow, a heavy afghan, and a couch. I have several library books checked out so I’m all set for reading for awhile. I have a stash of good yarn waiting to be used; I just need to find a crochet project worthy enough to keep my attention.

I’m looking forward to a great fall and winter here in Michigan.

The Richmond Stats September 21, 2006

6.5 years of TTC naturally
Countless HPTs and OPKs
3 months of RE visits
2 surgeries
1 HSG

The result? 2 pink lines and a BFP for PG.

Yup, that’s right, I am pregnant! We found out Saturday, and to be honest we didn’t believe it was true. We took two home tests and a blood test just to be sure. I think after trying all these years we really didn’t think it would ever happen, and if it did we sure didn’t think it would happen so soon after seeing the RE. Needless to say, we are super excited. Now we are crossing our fingers and praying for a safe and healthy pregnancy.

So far I am feeling great. Not any more tired than usual, but I sleep a whole lot better than I used to. I have to keep eating in order to keep from feeling lightheaded, so I stocked up on food here at the office. It’s hard to remember to eat but I’m sure I’ll get used to it. This being a big brand-new journey for me, I’m probably going to want to talk about all of the boring details. However, I don’t want to bore this blog with all of that, so I set up an online pregnancy journal. It’s public, so if any of you are interested, feel free to visit over at http://www.babycrowd.com/jr/online/bug77/.

Congrats to the boys of R.E.M.! September 18, 2006

R.E.M. Inducted Into Music Hall of Fame

Encouragement in a song September 15, 2006

XM: Rita Springer – “Worth It All”

I don’t understand Your ways
Oh but I will give You my song
Give You all of my praise
You hold on to all my pain
With it You are pulling me closer
And pulling me into Your ways

Now around every corner
And up every mountain
I’m not looking for crowns
Or the water from fountains
I’m desperate in seeking, frantic believing
That the sight of Your face
Is all that I need
I will say to You

It’s gonna be worth it
It’s gonna be worth it
It’s gonna be worth it all
I believe this

This song is so perfect for me right now. All of it is true. I have been having such a bad day at work today and that coupled with the stress of hoping I’m pregnant this month had just about set me over the edge. But then I heard this song and it put things into perspective all over again.

Another great song that comforts me in times like this is “All I Need Is Everything” by Over the Rhine. It’s one of my all time favorite songs, from one of my all time favorite bands. You can read the lyrics but it’s best to hear it in order to get the full effect. You can download the mp3 for free here. Beautiful song.

I got nothin’ today September 14, 2006

No humor today. No interesting life stories. Not even a nostalgic photo. But I did complete some things on my to-do list that have been there for awhile, so I actually feel like I can relax and veg out guilt-free. For to-do list people, that’s an accomplishment worthy of a small celebration. Thankfully I have ice cream and Rocky IV on DVD.

And for those on the edge of your seats from the last post, I’m still waiting for AF. I said that I was 14 DPO but I had been having short cycles, so I based that on a 26 day cycle. If my cycle is back to normal than I have a day or so more of waiting before I POAS (See previous post for abbreviation guide). My nerves are unbelievably stable right now so I bet some of you have been praying. If you have, thank you. You are super duper special to me.

TMI about TTC September 13, 2006

I’ve been trying to keep the blog lighthearted but it’s hard to do when you’re not. I’ve just been a bit off. I think the stress of ttc (trying to conceive) is really getting to me. I don’t expect anyone to understand it unless you’ve been through it yourself, but I’m going to talk about it anyway. I’ll start off by giving you a key to some of the abbreviations commonly used in the online infertility community.

2WW Two-week wait
AF Aunt Flo (your period)
BBT Basal body temperature
BCP Birth control pills
BD Baby dance (sex)
BFN Big fat negative
BFP Big fat positive
CD Cycle day
DPO Days post-ovulation
ENDO Endometriosis
HPT Home pregnancy test
HSC Hysteroscopy
HSG Hysterolsalpinogram
IPS Imaginary pregnancy symptoms
IUI Intra-uterine insemination
LAP Laparoscopy
LMP Last menstrual period
OV Ovulation
OPK Ovulation predictor kit
PG Pregnant
PI Primary infertility
PMS Pre-menstrual syndrome
POAS Pee on a stick (my new favorite, just learned it yesterday)
RE Reproductive endocrinologist (fertility specialist)
SA Sperm analysis
TTC Trying to conceive

And now that you know the lingo, here’s the rest of my story.

The thing with TTC is that you are always waiting. You wait for OV so you can BD. Then there’s the 14 DPO where you wait to see if AF comes. That 2WW is nerve racking and a huge drain on your emotional health. The possibility that you could be PG never leaves your mind. Always wondering, “What if?” “Maybe I am, maybe I’m not.” But you can’t know for sure, so you certainly can’t make any long term decisions. If AF comes you have your answer but you are devastated. Then the cycle begins all over again. If it doesn’t come, or you lack the patience that month to wait and see, you take a HPT. If it’s a BFN, it’s a let down but maybe you find some way to convince yourself that maybe it’s just too early to tell. If it’s a BFP, that’s great, but the odds of that happening after all this time are slim.

We have been TTC for almost 7 years, but it’s only the 2nd cycle since seeing the RE and I don’t know how many more cycles I can handle. I feel like I’m parked on the side of a road. It’s a road that ends into an intersection, and your only options are to turn left or right. I’m just waiting to see which way to turn. I left messages for the guy with the directions but haven’t heard back yet. Not only that, but I am watching other people come down this road and make their turns with apparent ease. I might not mind being parked here so much if I knew some others who were parked here with me.

I’m currently 14 DPO, right on the verge of knowing whether I need to brace myself for yet another cycle or if I’ll need to start shopping for fat clothes. In the CDs leading up to this one I typically experience IPS, on the look-out for any feeling that’s out of the ordinary. Then when AF comes I’m furious at myself for believing it could happen. This is certainly much harder than they made you believe in the high school sex ed. classes. You start out with a full supply of hope and with each cycle that supply depletes just a little. Certain things may add back a little bit of hope to that supply, but it never gets fully replenished.

The big question is, how long do you let yourself go through this torment? When do you give up and say that enough is enough? Even then for some the possiblity of getting PG can still be out there lingering. And you still feel stuck at that intersection. Do we plan our lives around the possibility of children, or do we go on as if they will never come? I know kids are not “everything” in life, but they are a pretty big something. I just don’t want to give up and start down some road that would take longer than 9 months to turn around on!

**Addition** Just read a friend’s blog and was reminded of this verse:
Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the Plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
What a great reminder. Thanks, Christie!