I had an emotional moment on Tuesday. I was jotting down my thoughts about my changing roles and about feeling some grief over that (thank you, Vicki, for helping me to see that… the funk fog has lifted considerably). My identity for so long has been wrapped up as the infertile woman with all the time for volunteer efforts, but now it is changing drastically. I am already having to adapt to my new identity as Mom. That statement got me choked up. Up until that point I had understood that I’m going to be a mom, but never did it occur to me that to someone I would now be “Mom”. To this little person, to Luke, that will be my name. Just like I call my mom, Mom, someone will be calling me that too.
[Now let me just interject here and say that I know my true identity is in Christ and that's where my focus needs to be ultimately. What I'm speaking of here are actually roles within that identity. I have to remember that. Now back to my sappy moment...]
This realization of mine may sound simple and not so profound, but for some reason it hit me really hard, if only for a minute or two (it was a very short emotional moment). I think about the relationship I have with my own mother. I hold my mom in the highest regard; I look up to her, love her, respect her. She is a role model for me and she is a vital part of my life. I cannot imagine my life without her. To think that now I am being given the opportunity to be that for someone else is extremely humbling. It is a huge gift and at the same time a huge responsibility. I alone am not up for the task but thankfully I have a big God, an amazing husband, and some really great friends and family to support me.
You will be an awesome Mom. I know it in my heart. But of course, you have tons of people who can help. But the best thing to do is listen to your heart.
from the outside looking in, it does seem like a simple concept. but for a first time mom especially, it is a very profound moment. i remember that “moment”. it’s almost surreal, but… wow. is this really happening?
i had another pause some time later when i realized i had a son. that just almost seemed so weird… but cool.
It makes me think of single women, how they devote so much of themselves into ministry around them and pouring into other people. And then some day perhaps they marry and there is such a shift in priorities. They are still the women who love to be of service but there is a shift in focus. You have reached another point where priorities are evaluated and things are realigned. It’s all good.
With each knew role there comes a title.
Woman, wife, aunt….Mom! You are going to be an awesome mom, Luke is a lucky kid.